Play History

Back as long as i can remember I have always tried to figure things out. It was a game to me. My mom would walk in on me at 2 in the morning putting my scooby doo puzzle together with the pieces facing down so I could only go see the shapes. Of course i remember it being easy because the pieces were large for kids but still i enjoyed the challenge. Of course time changes things and tends to take the fun out of problems as we grow up. It's a struggle to keep oneself from just not worrying enough to be productive.
I remember being 6 and my parents taking my friends and i to play laser tag. That was one of the best times of my life. Not to mention that we got home and had an epic nerf battle till 2 in the morning. All the fun ended when we ended up cornering a friend of mine. His sense of play immediately left and it became personal. He felt singled out when the thought hadn't even crossed our minds. Either way I've felt that has been a strong point of mine. I can usually shrug off serious moments by feigning a careless attitude, when i come to find that faking it isn't the same either. that just allows pain to build and gradually cement on my cognitive processes until it would inevitably pull me down. It takes honestly laughing at even yourself and letting go of this unneeded worry to truly push forward with everything you have to offer. I'm not saying i'm even close to being there yet, but my understanding of this will keep growing every day because i'm willing to push myself to laugh on the inside.
Going back to other occasions it is true how much play taught me to deal with issues in my life. Sometimes it came out negatively but usually that's when i let the lesson show me to take it seriously. Such as my 4th grade football experience. The coach liked me, i was new, yet i was fast, determined and fearless even though i was the smallest. One day he had me practice wide-recieving and running a flag left over and over. and over and over and over and over again. It had to be perfect. This extreme pressure caused my brain to come in and think too much when it was something i always just felt. I kept getting worse cause he kept pushing me and wouldn't let me stop. i told him i was tired and wanted to stop but he wouldn't let me. Again and again he had me go out for a pass. "No! Cut sooner!.. Look for the ball! What did i tell you about catching it in your gut!?" I began hyperventilating and finally a backup - my friend Drew's dad - came up and said that he should let me take a break. I wasn't physically harmed but ever since then it's as if a little voice in my head kept the fun from releasing my creative potential. This wasn't the only experience but it's amazing what situations in life make you realize how careless we once were until those adults who took things too seriously taught you to as well. We all have that "coach" in our lives that wants everyone to take life as seriously as them because they are so unhappy. The trick is to laugh even when it hurts.